Vits!

"My friend's friend's dad went to see U2 in concert," my 18-year-old reported to us the other day, "and when Bono came out, he was clapping his hands slowly, like this." She clapped her hands every second for a moment.

"And finally, he stepped up to the mike and he was very serious, and he said, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child dies in Africa.' The audience was totally silent."

"And there was some drunk Irish guy in like, the third row, and he yelled, 'Well, stop clapping your f*#!ing hands, then!'"

Suburban Turmoil